Yummy not so bad for ya recipe! Banana Bread Blondies

This recipe comes courtesy of the fantastic shonda1020 on instagram.  I, of course changed up a few things andyou guys can do so as well.  I used organic honey, organic almond butter (instead of peanut butter) and stevia (instead of granulated sweetner), dark chocolate chips (instead of semi sweet), milk (used almond milk).  Some people won’t be able to handle my substitutes, so please change it up how you want to 🙂

 

brownie

 

(2) ripe medium/large bananas

(1) 3/4 cups rolled oats

(1) can chick peas (Approximately 1 1/2 cups once drained and rinsed)

(2) tablespoons peanut butter

(1) teaspoon baking powder

(2) tablespoons honey

(4) tablespoons granulated sweetener

pinch of salt

(1/2) cup low fat milk

(1/4) cup semi sweet chocolate chips

 

Preheat oven 390F.  Line your 8×8 baking dish with butter or spray (I used I can’t believe it’s not butter).  Place all ingredients except chocolate chips into a food processor and blend until smooth.  Fold half of the chocolate chips into the batter.  Pour into prepared pan.  Sprinkle remaining chocolate chips on the top of the bars.  Bake for approximately 20 minutes until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.  Let sit so they can become firm once you take them out of the oven.  Try not to overcook them, because then they won’t be nice and soft 🙂

 

Hope you guys enjoy!

 

Much respect and love!

Alecia H.

Posted in Food | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

This is going to be a real “conversation”, so please excuse the run on sentences and lack of punctuation. I am seeking more so the essence and not me being back in grad school writing in MLA format. I have been struggled with what is “family” for many years. What does it truly mean? I was raised in what is considered a “nuclear” family by definition. Married parents and siblings. Well, yea that sounds about right?? Right?? To some they will say that is what family is. To be honest, they are not wrong. They are correct, but I would venture to say; family is so much more. As I have gotten older, my definition of what family is has changed. Some will disagree, but hear me out. I have friends that are now family. I have girlfriends that are now my sisters and guy friends that are my big brothers. I am sure some of you would agree with me that you deem some of your friends as family right? But why? Why are they seen as family? Simply because family is not based on the “traditional definition” but more so of what a family is about. Which is pure and simple….IT’S LOVE. Here is the catch 22, what is love?? Thought I was just sticking to family topic huh?? Well, I am one of those deep thinkers. So there will always be more to ponder on, when it comes to my posts. Anyway, I digress. We consider people family, when we love them. I am not speaking of that cliché love that Hollywood sells us. I am speaking of that love that they get on your nerves, but you love them anyway. You argue with them, but you love them anyway. Do you see where I am going with this? Family is not contingent upon what society has always defined it as. It is what your heart connects with. In this world it is rare to find people you truly connect with. When you get that feeling that no matter what, they will be there. That even when you are wrong, they will tell you about it in a loving way. When they can see your perspective and respect it without being offended, and still have their own opinion; but meet you halfway. So many grapple with if they don’t agree with their “traditional family” they are seen as the black sheep. I mean come on people let’s grow up. We aren’t always going to agree. But we can have respect. Respect of putting someone’s feelings in your thoughts before you open your mouth. I don’t know about ya’ll but sometimes your blood family hurts you more than your family you have created through friendships over the years. I am not ashamed to say that I am closer to some of my friends who I consider family than my actual family. There’s no shade thrown at my family, but it is what it is. So what do you do if you aren’t close to your family? What do you do when your family is the main people who hurt you the most? Pretty much, what do you do when your family isn’t what you think they should be?? If you have never asked yourself that question because you have a “perfect family” then, this post isn’t for you (no disrespect). The answer to all those questions is that you can love them from a far; both mentally and physically. You are the controller of your heart and mind. You have the ability to say enough is enough. You have the ability to say, you know what I won’t allow someone even if it’s “family” to treat me or make me feel like this. Cue most people “easier said than done lady” and YES MY DEAR PEOPLE YOU ARE CORRECT! Hurt runs deeper when its people you assume should care. Forgiveness comes slower when you think to yourself, “they should know better and why can’t they just love me”. I won’t be naïve to believe that if your mom, dad or siblings hurt you, that you are just going to skip into the sunset and say well, I’m going to brush that off and go sing like Julie Andrews from the Sound of Music. That is unrealistic! Dang movies make you believe it’s that easy. It isn’t. But what is true and always will be true, is this. People regardless of their blood/genetic affiliation to you, will let you down at some point in their/your life. No one is perfect. However, know you are worth loving. Know that what you believe love is, will be different from the next person. Look in the mirror and say, I love myself enough to know I need to love you from afar. When you find people that share the same type of love you have in your heart, hold on to them. God gave us not just genetic family, but random ones that just so happen to come into our lives and sync their heartbeat to yours. Stay tuned….I am sure I will have more thoughts on this topic……

Posted in Advice, believe, encouragement, inspire, Life, Love/life/advice, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bullying goes deep…..

For several days, the topic of bullying has laid heavy on my heart.  The memories of being bullying were brought back to the forefront of my mind as I read an article about a beautiful young girl that took her life.  Her name was Dejah Jones and she went to Woodside High School in Newport, VA.  She was only 14 years old.  She played volleyball, loved her family and friends and had the sweetest smile.  I didn’t know Dejah but I did all at the same time.  I connected with her because I saw a brokenness that I experienced.

Sometimes the geographic location of someone does not determine how we connect.  As I am sure we can all say that we have friends that don’t live next door.  Or even better, as a mother, you can connect and related to other moms around the world.  There is just something about the feelings that are attached of what you are going through that can somehow have your heart strings attached without using words.

The topic of bullying is so close to my heart.  I was bullied all through middle school.  Fast forward now in my early 30’s I have grown into a strong, confident woman who fights for others.  Even though I can remember everything from that time as if it were yesterday.  I remember moving to the U.S. and my family didn’t have much.  We shopped at the thrift store and what others donated to our church.  My parent’s at that time couldn’t afford much so they bought me payless sneakers.

The bullying didn’t start intense but it was built up to it as I am sure it is for many children.  For me it started with me having my Jamaican accent, then it was because the one kid that was nice to me was white, I hung out with her and I was only supposed to hang out with the black kids.  Then it went to the fact that I wasn’t wearing name brand clothes, then to the fact that I made good grades, then to my parents not driving a nice car and then to the pushing, the locking me in the bathroom and my locker, to food thrown on me and it progressed.

I went to my guidance office every day.  They brought in the girls and talked to them.  It got worse because they said I was being a snitch.  I told the office and they said I will be fine.  But I wasn’t fine, I was so broken I couldn’t concentrate.  My parents did all they could but the school, did the smallest efforts to facilitate change in the behavior of those girls and I am sure I wasn’t the only one.

As the years went on, I carried a lot of those insecurities with me. I carried the notion of not fitting in.  The bullying isn’t just bullying in the environment that it occurred in, it carries the feelings in your subconscious.  It carries over to so many different aspects of our life.  So many do not take into account that it isn’t just the action.  It is the aftermath that carries so much more.  In the instance of which all is occurring your heart aches, you think what did I do wrong, why can’t they leave me alone?  Then it goes to why me?  Is something wrong with me?  Why can’t they like me?  I am a good person, why don’t they like me?

All these psychological shortcomings can infiltrate into the depths of our minds and filter over into other areas as we grow.  It takes a lot to overcome these feelings especially if you don’t have the environment to help you.

We all are a little unsteady….so let’s hold on to each other….

My frustration lies with our society.  Why don’t we care more?  Because it’s not our children?  Because it’s not in our affluent neighborhoods?  Is it because it’s in schools that aren’t in the caliber as your own children?  Is it because these kids aren’t friends with your kids?  The question I pose to you, AREN’T THEY KIDS IN GENERAL?  As a parent can’t you relate to the other parents?  That all you want is the best for your children?  That you try your best every day to give them what you can with what you have?  Isn’t that enough to say what can I do?  How can I help?  I may not be able to give money but what else is there that I can do?  Can I start a meeting once a week with my neighbors about bullying?

Who is to say your child isn’t getting bullied and didn’t tell you?  I didn’t tell my parents for a long time.  Bullying is bullying.  It does not discriminate against color, income or location.  Bullying has led to the increase of suicide rates for so many.  Whether it affects them in their teenage years or o

If you are unable to physically be someone, the internet is there.  Facebook is there, make a group for anti-bullying, all that is needed is EFFORT AND COMPASSION.  Just care!  These children deserve better, our communities need us all to care.  We can’t just post and say “I feel bad for this family”, I will pray for them and keep it moving through our newsfeed.  What does that do?

Let me be clear, we all have lives to live and people to live for.  I understand.  But I also believe that our purpose on this earth is to live to the core of being a good human being.  Not just to fulfill the duties of the titles we carry.  Those titles are important but the fundamental truth is that we all are humans, we all bleed red and we all need to go back to caring.  Not just for those who we are biologically connected to, but simply to appreciate the life of someone else.

One website that I go on and help via the internet is called www.supportgroups.com.  There are various topics that people just pour their hearts out in.  Take some time, even 15 minutes a day to encourage someone.  Trust me, it may save a life……

Every single person deserves to live, to live a happy life and to fulfill their God given purpose…..

Love always!

-ALECIA

Posted in Advice, encouragement, inspire, Life, Love/life/advice, spiritual | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Find who you are, happiness follows…..

Do you really know who you are?  I am not speaking of the title you are given but who you are.  What I mean is if I said who are you?  What would most people say?  They would say the titles in which they were/are given.  Such as I am a Mom, Dad, sister, brother, aunt, wife, husband etc.  Is that who you truly are though?  I believe that we as human beings should not be defined by a label society has imposed on us.  As we are all capable of being whoever we desire in our hearts.  Find your purpose in turn you find your happiness that no one can take from you.

About 3+ years ago, I was in a job that I was in charge of the main dining room for the student body at a prestigious culinary school.  My staff consisted of many students, however we had a disability program so I also had some individuals that had some handicaps; nonetheless can do their jobs really well and function.  During my time there I was often told when I would help the students outside of my job description that I needed to not do that.  I have had a heart to help people from a very early age.  I believe my student workers knowledge surpassed cleaning a table properly or organizing a refrigerator.

Long story short, after some time; I could no longer stand being in such an environment.  It inhibited me from being who I always thought I could be.  A woman that is kind, not bitter; a woman that will go above and beyond the call of duty without hesitation; the woman that works really hard each day to ensure that whoever comes into my world leaves a better person.  I eventually gave them my 3 week noticed.  I had all intentions of moving to Florida but God had a different plan for me.  I moved back home with my Mom and it just so happened she broke her ankle in 3 places and needed me to take care of her.

So I took care of everything for her, while digging deep to find out who I am. I have associated myself with all these titles that were given to me that I felt like I was letting people down when I didn’t live up to what they thought I should be.  Not at all seeing the detrimental psychological affect it had on me.  I didn’t have a job for 9 months.  I can’t lie, there were days I just looked up and asked God what did I do wrong?  Why did he hate me so much when he knew all the hurt my last position caused and now I have no job and in state that I always said I never wanted to live in. Little did I know that my biggest blessing and the discovery of myself was in the place in which I didn’t want to be.

I finally got a job.  This isn’t just a basic job it is EVERYTHING I asked God for.  I asked for a boss that would make me be a better person personally and professionally, I got that.  I am getting paid 3x more than what I was in that horrific job.  Best of all, they allow me to interact with students without being penalized that it isn’t a part of my job description.  My coworkers found out that I am a huge advocate for diversity and helping people be their best; hence is why I am currently pursuing a master’s degree in counseling specializing in life coaching.

My first year, they asked me to address the incoming class of student of what diversity means and how we can change the world one mind at a time.  They also asked me to participate with the students in black history month.  By no means is any of this a part of my job title.  My boss advocates me doing all this as he knows my heart if soft for kids.  After I did my first diversity presentation, they have asked me to do it each year.  Mind you the other job reprimanded me for doing what my new job now embraces.

Today was especially special.  I walked into work and because of my positive demeanor my coworkers got me positive sticky notes.  We just wrapped up black history month and we had a fair and it turned out well! The director of admissions, who is very fond of my dedication to diversity and helping our student body out in any way, walked into my office and said this…

What did you think of the fair?  I said I thought it was great but I have a great concept for next year.  He then pulls up a chair and said please do tell.  I told him I would like to do an around the world diversity event.  Where it is a campus wide activity.  Not only did he love the idea, he placed me in charge of next year’s entire event.  He said I have no budget and whatever I need to let him know.

Right after that, last week one of my co-workers asked if she could talk to me about a problem she was having.  Of course I said sure what’s up.  She said, I think that people have a misunderstanding of who the Black Panthers were.  She thought that every group has a good and bad side.  I told her that I agreed.  She said PBS has a documentary on the Black Panthers.  I said that’s great. She then said that she didn’t know how well that would go over.  Simply because the fear of them telling their parents (who pay $36k for their kid to come to school for 1 year) that they are being taught about a group that had such negative connotations to them.

I explained to her that she should ask the head in charge and just see how it goes.  Also another option is to have the kids watch it on their own time and then have a discussion about it.  So if they had additional questions or just want to talk about it that they are in a safe environment to do so.  So today she saw me and gave me a huge hug.  I said is everything ok, she said thanks to you, they are allowing me to show it at school and it’s open to EVERYONE.  Also she wanted to know if I can do a diversity group session with the kids to enlighten them about accepting diversity and how important it is to have an open mind.

LADIES AND GENTS…In one day, EVERY SINGLE THING in my past job that I was told not to do, my new job seeks me out to help.  My job has never asked anyone to speak about the benefits of diversity and why it is important to look at people through their hearts; yet somehow they gravitate to me which I thank God for.

Moral of the story, no matter who, no matter what; never give up.  Know who you are in your heart, never lose it.  Never allow anyone to take it away from you.  That is your true identity!  Your purpose in life is who you are and not the label society gives you but who God says you are.  Understand that with finding out who you are, you will feel defeated sometimes, you will feel if all this is worth it, am I doing something wrong.  That is when God is doing his best work.  It is during those times of feeling you are outside your comfort zone is when you are growing into who you meant to be your entire life.  It is when we learn to forgive, look deep within our hearts and see the world not just through our physical eyes, but with the eyes in our hearts and through Gods eyes.  We can have the doors of possibilities to change this world for the better.

Look for the good in the bad situations, appreciate the bad as it allows you to grow.  Never give up!

This song is one of my favorites! Take a listen!  The lyrics are awesome….

“You’ll never fly, if you’re too scared of the height”…

So I say spread your wings and fly.  Trust God, believe in yourself, and seek your purpose.  You will know what it is, for it is something you do naturally and you never get tired of doing it!

XOXOXO,

Alecia

 

Posted in Advice, believe, blessed, encouragement, inspire, Life, Love/life/advice, spiritual | Leave a comment

Reflections change….

I use to recognize myself, funny how reflections change.  I know I am not the only woman who so happens to be single in their 30’s and everyone is looking at you sideways.  For the simple fact that at this point most of your friends are engaged, getting married, married, on kid number one or even two or three.  I can’t lie to you, if you had caught me 3 years ago I was the surface happy person.  I was happy for folks but inside I was dying.  It’s like, what is wrong with me?  I mean I was meeting all these guys, and we would hang out and go out on dates and they would tell me how awesome I was.  Then bam break up because they are either inconsistent, need me time, or some other nonsense reason.

Fast version of those 3 years, God leveled me!  He brought me down to the lowest point in my life that I had no other avenue but to turn to him.  I had no job, no hope and nothing that felt like love (at least what I thought love felt like).  The first 9 month was brutal, here I am broken and I said to myself ok God I am all yours.  What is it that you need from me because I give up!  So I found my way back to church.  While searching for jobs, I volunteered to set up our worship group equipment and go to services at other locations.  Slowly, I was finding happiness that was not associated with a job or a guy.  As my spirit rose and I found happiness in God and his love for me, my perfect job arrived 9 months later.

Every single one of my strengths is what my job is, and every single one of my shortcomings I have the most amazing boss who helps me to make them a strength.  Even though now I had this amazing job and life is getting better, I still had this feeling inside that I needed a companion.  Through all of the hurt and pain, subconsciously I was still wanting to be in a relationship.  I still wanted the sweet text, phone calls, cuddle time and all the fun stuff.  But not realizing that God wanted me to understand that the love I deserve, I have to let him take care of that versus me searching.  I mean I was still entertain the text here and there from past guys and maybe even dinner.  Granted I told myself so many lies that it was innocent and that I could handle it because now we are just friends.  Then I started asking myself, so why am I hurt when I don’t hear from them after?  Why aren’t they reaching out to me more.  I prayed relentlessly and I know this was God teaching me a lesson.

EVERY SINGLE DETAIL IN A MAN that I thought I wanted was dropped right into my lap.  Here I am all up in arms, this has to be God being an amazing God and granting my prayers.  So now I am so giddy because those little butterflies are back and I just KNEW that this was it!!!!  We had so much in common, we laughed, we joked, and we could talk about any subject for hours.  I got the good morning text, the sweet text through the day and phone calls at night.  What I didn’t realize was that I was making him my God.  I was still going to church, still doing my bible readings, still praying; but differently.  I was rushing through it all because my mind was so focused on this guy.  Granted during all this I am a full time grad school student and working full time, lives in the gym and taking care of my mother.  So to say the least time is limited.  I came to the realization that I needed to walk away.  I needed to seek Gods face more and live in the word.

Months following that, I can honestly say I have never been happier!  I have never felt this much peace and wholeness in my entire life.  I truly love who I am, and who I am becoming through the guidance of God.  I am truly happy for my friends getting married because I look at marriage and relationship differently now because my relationship with my Lord is on a different level.  I study not just read his word.  I have girlfriends that have walked down this path that are there for me and keep me going.  Because of Gods amazing work in my life, I can see the Godly relationships and marriages around me.

I wake up smiling, and the first thing I do is talk to God.  I know he knows what I’m thinking, but it’s different.  It’s a relationship I can’t explain.  I rest in his presence and listen for his direction.  I seek him first before all things and wait on his answer.  In the meantime of waiting for his answer, I still walk in my purpose with all the grace he gives me. I am one semester away from graduating with my masters in Life Coaching, as that is the gift God gave me. Love means something different to me because now that I have sought God and still seeking him daily, the love I feel that he gives me daily; I will wait patiently for the man he sends.  I no longer feel the need to chase, because I know there will be no question in my mind that the God fearing man will enter my life when God sees fit.  For there is no greater joy that I feel than knowing how much God loves me because I now chase him and him alone.  I just don’t want a life, I want the life God created for me.  Thus far, the amazing job, the soon to be graduate of a master’s degree, the compassionate, genuinely happy, loving, kind, easy to get along with person I have become through my obedience to my Father; I will continue to do so.  So I shall leave you with one of my favorite verses that speaks true to this entire post…..

2 Thessalonians 2:13-14 New International Version (NIV)

13 But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters loved by the Lord, because God chose you as firstfruits[a] to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. 14 He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 

I used to recognize myself…funny how reflections change…

-Alecia

 

Posted in Advice, encouragement, inspire, Life, Love/life/advice, spiritual | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Enduring our own Metamorphosis – Conquering Fear

So often I am sure we all beat ourselves up because in certain situations parts of (our not so nice self arrives).  Front and center and with popcorn in hand.  Why is it so difficult for us to say we have flaws?  Or allow people into our world?  Is it because we don’t want to be judged? Is it because we want someone to love us and we think that if they see our flaws they won’t?  Here’s my thought on that, we are judged each and every day anyway.  Some more blatant than the next.  I mean let’s think about it, if you are a human being you are going to be judged.  If you are a bad driver, a woman, a single dad, a homeless man, a pastor.  It does matter your race, ethnicity, social status etc, judgement in our society is inevitable.  As I approached my 30’s I found myself settling into who I am.  Not saying that I don’t have flaws, surely I do.  I am insecure about my body, I am insecure about dark spots on my face and the list can go on.  Some of the emotional trials that occurred from past jobs and relationships does surface.  However, that is going to happen.  Beating ourselves up that it happened shouldn’t be the priority, but more so for us to understand why is it happening?  What triggered that particular behavior to surface when you thought you had gotten over it?

I have found myself shying away from relationships and other situations that would make me have “feelings”.  Yea, I am not your typical woman that is all about her feelings.  Then I started dating someone and man oh man did that emotional chick come out.  I thought to myself, why?  Why is this happening?  Then it came to me, I was not allowing myself to be vulnerable.  Who in the world wants to be vulnerable?  Who wants to get hurt if you open your heart?  I surely don’t!  But then again, who is to say that it can’t be a beautiful thing?  Who is to say you haven’t ran into the right person for you?  But then we create illusions in our minds.  Illusions are a lie, they are what we tell ourselves versus the reality of a situation.  I know I am not the only one that often times have thought up the most insane things because we are “feeling some kind of way”.  So how do we go about life without living in the state of illusions which often times can lead to disappointment?

For me, it is giving everything to God.  It is giving him all control over all things that I do.  Now I would be lying to you that that is easy.  It isn’t!!!!!!!  Especially because we are human beings and we want answers right now!  We overthink everything and think…geeeezzzz this is taking too long.  But then I have to think to myself in a realistic fashion.  If we were to speed up the metamorphosis process of a butterfly would be know what a beautiful butterfly is?  No!!!  We would definitely only know the caterpillar, because time is what will bring it to the end result.  In the meantime, it is called communication.  Not just with others but also with yourself.  Learn to understand your limits and being able to speak freely to those around you without apprehension.  When we learn to say what is on our minds, it frees up a lot of emotional stress that may be there for no reason.  We all know that keeping things inside never results to anything good.  Speaking what is on your heart to the ones you love should be a priority.  They love you, they care for you and want the best as you go through life, so sometimes swallow your pride and let someone help you.  Allow someone to pray for you, speak positive notes into your life.  But always remember, seek he first the kingdom.  Let go and let God do his thing.  For it is when we want to control everything is usually when it all goes wrong.  So allow your mind to be still, allow your heart to be filled with happiness instead of doubt and fear and allow God to work miracles in your life.

Much love and respect for life!

-Alecia

Posted in Advice, believe, blessed, encouragement, inspire, Life, Love/life/advice, spiritual | Tagged | Leave a comment

When was the last time you really had fun?

When is the last time you really had fun? Think about it—the last time you just let yourself go and had a good time? When did you last forget about all your daily responsibilities and live in the moment? If it’s been too long, one of these assumptions about fun may be holding you back. Read on to discover how to get over them and get yourself out there:

1. You’re worried what other people will think.

You don’t want to look silly in front of other people. You’re afraid they’ll judge you. Guess what? Other people don’t think about you nearly as much as you think they do. Besides, you’re not a mind reader. You don’t know what is going on in other people’s minds. And if they are judging you for being silly and having a good time, then they’re people you don’t need to know anyway. To quote Dr. Seuss: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

2. You think you need to spend money.

It’s true: Some of the best things in life are free. You don’t need to go on a pricey vacation or buy a lot of stuff to have fun. Many times it’s just being in the moment with the people you care about. And that costs nothing. Check newspaper listings or your town’s website for ideas of fun low-cost activities in your community.

3. You think you don’t have the time.

There is always time to have fun. I don’t care who you are or how little time you think you have—you can make the time. Also, fun is found in the little moments—you don’t need to carve out your whole day. Block out a half-hour to do something you enjoy, just for the fun of it.

4. You think you need to plan it.

If you’re a Type A planner, keep in mind that the most fun can be found in spontaneous unplanned moments. Let things happen naturally. Let yourself experience spur-of-the-moment trips and last-minute get-togethers. Be in the present moment.

5. You mistake solemnity for seriousness.

As Jim Morrison wrote, “No one gets out of here alive.” You’ve got one life, and it’s short. Enjoy it. It is possible to take something seriously and still inject some fun and humor into it. For example, if you’ve ever flown Southwest Airlines, you’ve seen how the company takes something serious, like safety instructions, and turns it into something fun. By doing this, not only will people enjoy themselves more, they’re also more likely to pay attention. So whoop it up at your next staff meeting. (Just don’t tell your boss I recommended that.)

6. You think conditions have to be perfect.

Many fun moments occur when things go unexpectedly awry. Allow yourself to be imperfect, and to enjoy the imperfections of life. Humans are imperfect creatures, after all, and you’re one of them. Telling yourself, “I’ll have fun when…”, is counterproductive and, frankly, a real bummer. Have fun now—there’s no time like the present.

7. You think it has to be big and spectacular.

News flash: Every day is not 4th of July fireworks, parades, and parties. You can find fun in small moments. If you think real fun only happens at big events, you’re depriving yourself of some good times. Fun is what you make it. It doesn’t need to be spectacular, by any means. Sometimes it’s found in 5- and 10-minute increments.

8. You’re bored.

There’s a symptom of depression called anhedonia, in which you no longer find interest or fun in things that previously got you excited. Also in ADHD it can be difficult to keep up novel tasks to excite the brain. On the other hand, if you’re just plain bored, that is a choice. You make the changes and opportunities in your life. Get out there and have fun.having-fun

Posted in Advice, Life, Love/life/advice | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Believe – Such a loaded word right???

“Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing. Believe in yourself. And believe that there is a loving Source – a Sower of Dreams – just waiting to be asked to help you make your dreams come true”.

****BELIEVE****

Such a loaded word right? So often it’s hard to believe in yourself because of so many things. A lot of times our environment knocks us down enough that we stop believing. We stop believing that we are gifted, we stop believing we are awesome, we stop believing good things will happen. We all have experienced this, but guess what? Each day is a new day. Each day is a new day to believe again. It is God’s gift for us to have a blank page to write a new story! So, here are a few tips to help you with your new story!

littlegirl

-Recognize your skills –
Recognize the skills that you have and the good things about yourself. There are lots! You may not always recognize them but they are there. One way is to look for the things that you don’t struggle with or to look for the things that people compliment you on (even if you aren’t very good about accepting the compliment). When you look at the things you do well, you’ll feel more comfortable doing other things too.

-Meet goals-
Set goals for yourself and meet those goals. Actually go out and do things. Just thinking about what you want to do will only make you feel worse about yourself for not even starting them. Once you do make a goal, work hard to achieve that goal. Keep in mind, however, that these should be reasonable goals. Malcolm Gladwell famously posited that it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill, so if you think you’re going to learn 8 languages and become a ballet dancer in 5 years, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak.

-Learn from failure-
Instead of viewing your failures as failures, view them as learning opportunities. You did something wrong so that you know for sure it’s wrong and now you’ll have an easier time knowing what’s right. Everything that goes wrong in your life is an opportunity to learn, so embrace it.
Try, even when you feel like you can’t or shouldn’t. Sometimes we feel like we shouldn’t do something new because we might do it wrong. This is a bad mindset. Instead, give yourself permission to try something, even if you might get it wrong. If you never try new things, you’ll never be able to make progress.

-Talk to people that love you-
If you’re really having trouble seeing all the wonderful things about yourself, you can always talk to someone who loves you. Tell them that you’re having a hard time and they will find a way to bring you a better outlook. Sometimes we have difficulty seeing the best things about ourselves, but the people that really love us will never struggle to see those things.

-Take breaks when you need them-
If a situation or a task is just too overwhelming, feel free to take a quick break to catch your breath and remind yourself that you can do this. Even if the break is just inside your head, it’s okay to stop and acknowledge that you need a minute to build back your determination.

-Do something you believe in-
Another thing you can do to help yourself believe in yourself is to do something that you believe in. Do something that you know is incredibly important and that you know needs to be done. Getting good grades in school so that you can become a doctor, protecting your younger sibling from bullies, taking part in a protest for your cause: it doesn’t matter what you believe in, just believe in it. You will be so caught up in knowing that it has to be done that you will just do.

 

-A.H.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

If you don’t see a door opening, make your own!

Good morning!

Sometimes the biggest mistake we make is waiting for opportunities to come our way. We wait for that manager to resign or that person to get fired or we wait till the beginning of the year to start goals. Why? Why wait? Am I missing something because I didn’t know tomorrow was guaranteed to everyone.

Tomorrow is not guaranteed! Waiting on others is like etching your name one letter at a time on your tombstone. When you work your tail off it will pay off. If road blocks happen find a alternative route. If a door closes find another or a window or bust open a dang wall and build your destiny.


Do not let life, do not let people discourage you. Their insecurities of their own failures have no relevance to the progression towards your God given destiny. There’s two ways to look at people. They will either teach you what you want to be and push you to be better or they will be an example of where you do not want to go.

It is up to you to determine is someone is being a spring board for you or they anchoring you down and restricting your talents.

Never give up, make your own door and windows but remember to ask God to guide your steps and to lead you to where he wants to take you!

Be blessed yall!

opportunity

 
Posted in Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

If only we could let the past be the past, imagine the possibilities

leavingbehind

Oh what we could be if we stopped carrying the remains of who we were! -Tyler Knowtt Gregson

I read this quote and it spoke to my soul. It spoke to everything that I think of daily and when I listen to my clients. I listen to their worries, their hurts and their frustrations. I often wonder what is the best way to tell them that all they have to do is let go. Letting go seems like the scariest thing because you are letting go of the familiar and walking into the unknown.

Shockingly I asked myself the same question 4 years ago, hence is why this quote spoke so deeply to me. I was on the beach in St Simons Island doing my Chef’s externship. It was the first time that I was alone. I wasn’t dating anyone, I didn’t have any friends yet because I was somewhere new. I did that on purpose, simply because I wanted to just be alone. I didn’t know who I was. For 10 years I was known as someones girlfriend, my whole life I was always someones sister and just a daughter. At that moment listening to the ocean, I was nothing to anyone and for the first time I was happy.

I sat and I cried and I prayed. I asked God at that very moment to take all the hurt of leaving a 10 year relationship, to rebuild me as a person because I was so lost. I had listened to what others thought I should be for so many years and now I am here starting from scratch at the age of 28. The next day I wrote down all the things I needed to get rid of in my life. I placed them in a bottle and I went back to the beach. Before I threw it in the water, I promised myself no turning back. I am going to free myself of it all and I will change to the woman I know I could be. Then I threw it as hard as I could. I took a deep breath and said God I am all yours.

For the next 4 years, I have been through some of the hardest yet happiest times in my life. I felt like a diamond in the rough and was just being chiseled away, until it was time for me to shine. As I sit here and write this, I have such gratitude in my heart. For all the doubt people had in me, for all the negativity they projected, I still stand. I stand tall because I stopped carrying the remains. I stand tall because I am more than what they all said. I stand tall because I am a conqueror and not a victim of the cruelness of this world and all that is in it. My life is not guided by humans it is guided by the grace and power of my one and only Jesus Christ.

4 years later, I met amazing people that saw my gift. That when I stumbled came to me and picked me up, helped me brush myself off and said keep going. 4 years later, I am doing everything that I was placed on this earth 4 but only because I went through all I did and let go of all of it in order to grow. Sometimes walking away and leaving people and their opinions behind isn’t being selfish. It is merely loving yourself more to allow your gift to grow and blossom into all it is meant to be.

Just let go…sometimes it’s the best thing for you!

Much respect!

A.H.

Posted in Advice, Life | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Comparing yourself to others is useless

“Are you ready”?
11/7/2014

Are you prepped and ready to win?! Is winning important? We are taught that if you don’t come in first you are a loser. I beg to differ, I am more concerned about finishing what I started. I want to know that all my efforts lead me to the finish line regardless if I come in “last”. That only comes when we have made it our point to be confident in ourselves. Running someone else’s life race is suicide. Why would you want to do that? Comparing our lives to others only places us in a box. It limits our thinking to the plethora of possibilities at our finger tips.

 

Everyone is built different. We are all given different talents. Some people are meant to be runners (Usain Bolt), swimmers (Michael Phelps), singers (Beyonce). Can you imagine if they all started comparing themselves to each other? Makes no sense right? What we should pay attention to is their work ethic. How they prepared themselves to be where they are. Did they sit on the sidelines and watched others? No! They did the necessary work in order to develop and perfect their craft. They woke up early, they researched, they made mistakes, they tried different methods in order to find out what works for them. They surrounded themselves with people that were going in that path. What if Frank Sinatra went to David Beckham for singing advice???? No bueno.

Are you ready? Have you taken the time to zone in on your craft? If you do not know what makes you tick so to speak, have you sat down and thought of what makes you happy? Think about that! It is important for all of us to know that our God given gifts are to be celebrated not given lesser value because it isn’t what others have. You have the power in you to be as successful and happy as anyone else. The question is are you willing to put the work in? Will you be ready when doors start opening? Don’t let you be your biggest obstacle for not achieving your dreams.

10406364_10105291033707883_2663824893501697547_n

 

Much Respect

-A.H.

Posted in Life | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment